11.11.11

Yesterday is a historic day - 11.11.11 - because it only comes once in a lifetime. And yesterday is our first wedding anniversary. Firsts are always once in a lifetime but our first did not turn out very well and writing about just what happened is a very long story. I felt tired and almost about to give up. I probably spent the whole day crying and frowning plainly because of something that could have been avoided.

At Mooon Cafe

Anyway, to move on with what happened that day, I appreciated it that he managed to swap his Friday just so we could celebrate together. We just had a simple dinner at Casa Verde then dropped by to drink with some friends at Moon Cafe. We sort of came up with a performance appraisal just to evaluate how we did for our first year. He came up with 4 components - Responsibility, Happiness (given to each), Loyalty, and Communication. And I added one just to comply - Honesty. Every component will be rated as A - Very Good, B - Good, C - Poor. Not one component should affect the other.


I rated myself A-B-A-B-A respectively. He rated himself B-A-A-B-A.


Why?

• Responsibility - I'm very confident with this aspect because I know that I've done everything for my family. He, on the other hand, admits that he may have missed on some very important things but he wouldn't say he's not responsible (to which I agree).
• Happiness - I know that he's happy because I see it in him and he always tells me that he's really happy with me. Still, I rated myself B because after all, life is not just all happiness. He said that he's confident with the happiness that he gave me because he feels that in the midst of every hardship, he still manages to make me smile. 
• Loyalty - Of course I'm also confident with this. He even said that in fact, this should not be part of the components anymore because it's already given that we're both loyal to each other. He also prides himself of being a one-woman man and someone who will never cheat on me, ever. 
• Communication - Yes, I make effort to communicate but there are just times that I prefer not to talk simply because I don't want to or it's just that talking doesn't make sense at some point. 
• Honesty - I never lie about anything. He said that he is completely honest but there are just some things that he chooses not to tell me because it's just gonna make me worry  and think too much. Right, likewise. 

Overall, I'd say that our first year may be a tough ride, we may have our fair share of ups and downs, and  we've been through a lot but nothing beats the fact that we're still together and we will be together till death do us part. 

When I came here in Cebu, all I did was spend, enjoy, and party. But I honestly felt that there's something missing. I was unconsciously looking for someone to share my happiness with and even though I'm still young, I guess I'm just really one of those who are not afraid of commitment and who choose to live life with someone significant. 

I may have hurt him before or did things that upset him. He may have hurt me and I may have cried a hundred times for the same reason - that's life. Marriage is not like high school or college boyfriend-girlfriend relationship that once you're tired, you'll just give up and break up. When I married him, I vowed to be with him whatever it takes. When I chose him to be my husband, I chose him because I love him and he's the man I want to spend my forever with. Last Thursday, Friday, and today are just some of the days when I spent hours crying over the same reason. I've had enough and there'll surely be more to come.  I guess I'm right when I told myself that it takes a Rea to completely understand Al. 

Here's to the best years ahead! One year down, a lifetime to go! =)